An Emotional Rollercoaster
Theme Park | USA(My cousin invites me to go with her and her family to a theme park so I say yes.) Me: “How exciting! I love going on the roller coasters!” Cousin: “You’re brave. Those scare me.” Me:...
View ArticleFountain Of Forgetfulness
Online | OH, USA(I am talking to my cousin. We are talking about different bands.) Me: “I’ve never been to a concert before, except Sesame Street Live when we were little.” Cousin: “You went to that?!”...
View ArticleLaptop Flop Meets An Email Fail
Home | South Africa(My cousin is getting married soon. She asks if I have a laptop with Bluetooth, and if it’s possible to transfer some colour-in pictures (to entertain kiddies at the wedding) via her...
View ArticleDead Men Tell No Spoilers
Movie Theater | Victoria, BC, Canada(The second ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ movie has just come out, and I have gone to see it with my cousin. I am 15; she is 13. The movie has been out less than a...
View ArticleNot Their First Priority
Park | Duncan, BC, Canada(My dad and I have gone to a swimming hole with my uncle, my two young cousins, a close family friend, and her daughter. My uncle is adopted, and not the same race as the rest...
View ArticleCongress Is All Barking These Days
Home | PA, USA(My cousin’s dog is sick, and, apparently, has been constipated. We are eating dinner when he decides to update us on the situation. My family’s sense of humor often includes pretending...
View ArticleThose Not Invited Spited
Wedding | UT, USA(My cousin is getting married. Her dad is dead and her mom is ill, so we’ve been stepping in to help out. My older sister is very opinionated and, quite frankly, rude.) Sister: “You...
View ArticleShould Stop And Take Stock
Home | CT, USA(My uncle is showing a picture cube of old family photographs to his lady friend.) Uncle: “This is my father and his hunting dog. This is my old dog. This is [Cousin]. This is my sister’s...
View ArticleAn A-Dora-ble Translation
Home | Mexico(My younger cousin is taking English in school. While I am fluent in English, she is not and I am tutoring her.) Me: *in Spanish* “Translate this into English. The Mexican girl went...
View ArticleWhen ‘Our Son’ Sounds Like ‘Arson’
Home | MN, USA(My fiancé and I are talking about starting a family and raising kids after the wedding. We agree that there are several things that people do not teach their children anymore that really...
View ArticleAt Least There’s No Argument That Batman Is Real
Home | St. Louis, MO, USA(As I am babysitting my younger cousins, a six-year-old boy and a ten-year-old girl, I get the great idea to ask what they wanted to be for Halloween.) Boy: “I want to be a...
View ArticleOut To Get Some Tail
Animal Rescue | East Midlands, England, UK(After searching long and hard for a male gerbil to try and bond with my current gerbil I finally find one. It’s quite a journey and a rescue worker ends up...
View ArticleSmoking Kills
Bar | Derby, England, UK(We’re at the wake for my grandma, and I excuse myself for some “fresh air,” i.e. a cigarette. My cousin decides to come with me, and as I walk outside I light up…) Cousin:...
View ArticleOlder, Not Wiser
Home | Brampton, ON, Canada(I am four years old and visiting an older cousin.) Me: “How old are you?” Cousin: “I’m seven.” Me: “I want to be older!” Cousin: “Well, you’re not.” (Four years later it’s...
View ArticleTickles And Licking And Bites, Oh My
Car | USA(My family and my aunt, uncle, and cousin are driving somewhere.) Mom: “There’s not enough room for all of us in the car!” Uncle: “It’s fine. [Cousin] can sit on the floor in the back.” Mom:...
View ArticleSorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word
Car | USA(I am in the car with my little cousin, who is tired because we have been driving for so long.) Cousin: “When will we ever get there?” His Dad: “Soon.” Cousin: “You said that an hour ago!” His...
View ArticleHaving An Adult Conversation
Family Gathering | PA, USA(We are at a family reunion. My niece is five years old and is asking a lot of questions. My cousin works in the gay porn industry.) Niece: “So, what do you do?” Cousin: “Um…...
View ArticleGoing To Have Some Strong Words With Mother
Home | Newcastle, NSW, Australia(I’m watching my cousin for my aunt for an hour. I’m 25 and my cousin is five. She’s a bright kid and repeats everything.) Me: *drops laptop* “Ah, s***.” Cousin: “S***!...
View ArticleBecame The Butt Of Her Own Joke
Car | AL, USA(My cousin and I decide to take a spin down the backroads. She has a habit of flicking her cigarette butts out of the window. Cruising down the road, I smell something burning.) Me: “Hey,...
View ArticleDoesn’t Take A Genius To Crack The Code
Camp | Vulcan, AB, Canada(I am camping with several members of my extended family and their children. I’m talking with some of the cousins near the fire pit during a marshmallow roast.) Cousin: “I’ve...
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